Jasmine :)

yerawizardbarry:

when you need to cough in an exam but you’ve already coughed like twice so you just sit there suffocating

(via leopard-cub)

hamburgurl:

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math

(via leopard-cub)

gangbangs:

who would name their kid zoey 101 

(Source: slydig, via leopard-cub)

arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via leopard-cub)

poetic:

I’ve gotten to the point where my parents could take everything away from me and I’d still be content to just lay in my bed and sleep. 

(via leopard-cub)

nishlo:

but the real question is has nemo found himself

(via leopard-cub)

*uses “u” and “you” in the same sentence*

(Source: oakynymph, via leopard-cub)

ghost-anus:

culler-of-booty:

Omfg today at school I was talking to my gay friend and some random kid walked by and called me a fag hag and I didn’t know what to do so I just went up to the kid and hugged him and I was like “it’s okay, once you come out you will discover your true self” and then he hugged me back and started crying and he said “it’s just so hard to feel accepted” and I just

the queer whisperer

(Source: princechihiro, via leopard-cub)

andrewpauldost:

what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

(Source: grossr5, via leopard-cub)